“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia
Love, hate, fear, sadness, anger, failure...we've all experienced it, and if you're anything like me, showing these emotions is a no go...well until recently that is.
Hiding the way I felt always seemed easier. I was always afraid of telling someone that there was something wrong. Why? Maybe I was afraid of their reaction. Afraid of judgement. "I'm okay" or "I'll figure it out" was always my response. I thought that was me being "independent". Boy was I wrong!! That was me running from the reality of my problems because facing them caused emotion, caused tears. Tears and emotions were a sign of weakness. Ummm...no they're not. Emotions are a sign of healing. Hello...we're human!
I honestly cannot remember when I started hiding my feelings. Maybe when I lost my father? Maybe sooner? Maybe even later? All I know is I wanted no one around me to know that I was hurting.
As mentioned before, I have been going through a few changes in my life. A breakup, dealing with my past, as well as finding and loving myself again. The later being the most difficult. Being alone caused me to think, to feel, and the feelings were not what I wanted. All I could do was crawl in a ball and cry. This went on for weeks. I would fall asleep crying and wake up doing the same. This is when I realized that I was finally dealing with what has and was going on in my life. I was finally allowing myself to heal. I was no longer burying my emotions, instead letting them all out. I was not okay at the time and I realized that it was actually OKAY.
So, take this from me, if you're bothered by something, don't try to hide it. Let your feelings show. Bottling up emotions does nothing but hurt the one who is most important...YOU and you are all you have in this crazy world. Be good to yourself and accept the fact that sometimes it really is okay to not be okay...
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